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"Nobody's home at my house." Really?"She nodded.We walked some more."OK," I said."Have you got a condom?"We stopped."A what?" You know, a rubber, a raincoat, birth control, right?"I nodded."Do you have one?'I shook my head and blinked at her."Then we better get one, maybe more than one."I nodded and when we got to the grocery store we went in, wandered around, found a rack of them, and she picked a three-pack that said ultra-thin and handed it to me. "Have you got some money?"I shook my head and she dug a five out of a pocket of her backpack.We went through the scanner and paid and left. She held out her hand, and I gave her the change and the condoms.She gave them back and giggled."You think its funny?" I asked."No, no, it's just, well, nobody would believe us. That's all." You are right, absolutely right."We walked to her house, went in the back door and right up to her room. I was excited. I don't know what she was. I watched her put down her bag and pull her sweater over her curly. Anything to do with Bjorn?" That's Borg! No, I'm named after that Swedish chef on the Muppets. You know the one," she said, removing a meat cleaver she seemingly travelled with from her dusty backpack and swinging it briskly through the air, shouting, "Bork! Bork! Bork!"While I did have childhood memories of the scary Swedish chef, watching countless horror movies had me wary about driving into the unknown with a meat cleaver swinging blonde who may have a dark secret. Like perhaps she was a Lesbian Vampire Killer. That would so not be a case where even two out of three ain’t bad.But, I rationalised, life wasn’t a horror movie, and any way locking eyes with the Nordic lesbian beauty in the Southern hemisphere summer sun had bought my libido to warp speed. So, I tossed her backpack in the trunk and we got into the car, Bork holding her meat cleaver close to her like it was a baby. I thanked God her name wasn’t Rosemary.She told me, as I drove out of the airport remembering the right.
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